The Living Dead: the torture of sleep deprivation

Help! I NEED sleep!!!

I have an adorable five and a half month old baby girl, who is sweetness and light and all things nice, but…and it’s a big but…she’s not too fond of sleeping for more than two hours in a row at night. This is pretty much a big problem, as I’m not sleeping much, if at all, and it doesn’t appear to be getting any better.

It’s amazing how well someone can function, obviously not at full capacity, but capable of walking and talking at the same time without banging into furniture…oh wait, I do that! Ok, someone who can still manage to remember their banking and Internet passwords. I have to keep reminding myself that this is TEMPORARY…but there is only so many positive mantras that a mother can make before she cracks from sleep exhaustion.

It also doesn’t help when well meaning friends and family say, “oh well, it won’t last forever”. Yes, I know it bloody won’t last forever, but as I’m incapable of envisaging a future without screaming in the middle of the night, you’re not helping! A lovely friend who has a son a few months older than my daughter, very helpfully told me that their bundle of joy was sleeping from 7pm until 5am each night…”oh how wonderful for you”, I exclaim, while internally envisaging a garrotting! But then, she proceeded to complain that 5am was too early!!! Needless to say, I told her to “shut up!” In the nicest possible way of course.

I’ve always found it incredibly unfair that when you need your wits about you the most, and your hormones are swirling like a vortex, you are not allowed to get the required amount of sleep to act in a reasonable manner. What’s the result? A weeping irrational slatternly looking woman incapable of caring for themselves let alone a new born baby. I feel eternally guilty to my much maligned husband, who bears the brunt of my recriminations and irrational rants, and my adorable cheeky three year old, who has to endure a comatose mummy on the lounge, unable to play with her.

Yes, I know it will pass. She’s going into her own bedroom after six months and so sleep training can begin…yayee another form of parental torture to endure. Just as well she’s so damn cute and that I can’t stop kissing those adorable cheeks, otherwise I seriously would consider selling her on eBay!

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